Father's Day

Well, it certainly has been a while since I've been able to post. Not something I'm proud of, but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Any who, as everyone knows, today is the day we celebrate Father's Day. While I am not a father, nor is there a plan for that in the foreseeable future, I have been thinking about my dad this morning and our relationship.

Anybody that knows my dad, knows that he, how should I say it, is consistent. He doesn't show much emotion, good or bad, he keeps a pretty level head, and doesn't really communicate very well. The good thing about that is he has never blown up in anger that I can recall. The bad thing, he passed his characteristic of not communicating emotion down to me. I like to think I got a good mix from both my mom and dad as far as showing emotion, but I'm horrible at communicating. An example of Dad's lack of communication skills: my "talk" consisted of him asking, "You know what married people do right? Ok, don't do it until then." Nice Dad. . .nice.

Our relationship didn't really begin to blossom if you will, until I was almost done with high school. It was the summer before my senior year. I was needing a source of income, and the radio station where Dad worked needed someone to work Saturday and Sunday mornings. (Strange how he talks all day on the radio all day and doesn't communicate when he gets home very well. Alas, that's a whole other topic) So, after some thinking, I decided I would take the job. And so began my radio carreer, and a bond of sorts. We finally had something to talk about. All of the sudden, we were communicating. We had something that tied us together. It was something I had questions about, and he definiately had answers for.

Growing up, I would describe our relationship as cordial. I tried to stay out of his space, and he didn't really have a clue as to how to get into mine. I didn't understand why he didn't want to go outside and play catch, or go to the park and play basketball. But when those times did happen, I was exstatic. See, it turns out, my dad didn't have much of a fatherly role model to look up to when he was growing up. His dad left when he was 16, and for many of those years, it wasn't pretty. So, he did what I would grow up to do, and learn to just stay out of the way. The less he was noticed, the better. He had a little easier time blending in being one of 10 kids. I, on the other hand, am the oldest of 2. Kinda hard to slide into the background.

I remember trying my best in school and in whatever I was doing just to hear him tell me he was proud. Those times, just like playing catch or shooting hoops, were few and far between. But one thing I knew made him proud, was when I started working at the radio station. I was following in his footsteps, and had found a passion for my life. He may not have said it much, but when we would talk about station stuff, I could tell he was proud.

That feeling has carried through to today. He may not say it much, but I know he's proud of me. Now that I'm out of college, married, and have become a somewhat productive member of society, I know he's proud. He didn't have a good role model to show him what it meant to be a father. That's ok, he learned on the fly. One thing I will always remember him saying was how he wanted so much better for my sister and I. He's done that. He's equiped us with everything we need to succeed.

As I continue to grow and mature as a person, one day, I want to be a better father than my dad was. Not because he was a bad father, but because I know that's what he'd want.

Love you Dad!

Happy Father's Day!